Random Train of Thought...

I haven't had much to blog about.  Mostly because I haven't been able to make sense of my thoughts enough to be able to put them into words.  But I think I'm ready.

First, lemme start off by talking about hiking Devil's Backbone.  It.Was.Amazing.  I have lived here for 29 years and am ashamed to say that I've never been there before.  It was unlike anything I have seen before.  And it was all amplified by the fact that I accomplished something I didn't think I was capable of!  My best friend Liz and I hiked the 3.2 miles up to "the keyhole" and back in a little less than 90 minutes.  It was a much harder hike than we had anticipated and there was one time where we both literally almost turned back.  But we pushed each other and ourselves and before we knew it, we reached the keyhole.  And this is the view that awaited us... (pictures truly don't do it a bit of justice, btw).  We're going back to hike it again this Saturday.

The whole way up to the keyhole, Liz and I were talking about our struggles to lose weight (she's doing it the old-fashioned way and KILLING it, btw).  We talked about how we've let our weight hold us back from doing so many things and how we use phrases like, "When I lose the weight..." and "Someday when I'm thinner...".  I had never hiked Devil's Backbone before.  Not because I don't like the outdoors or because I am afraid of the snakes that lurk on the trails, but because I thought I was too fat to do it.  So instead I sat on my fat ass and ate more and got fatter and got further and further away from doing any of the things I've wanted to do.

When the trail turned up towards the keyhole, we both looked up and said, "no way can we do this, but damnit we're gonna try".  And it was hard.  There was one point where we both stopped and contemplated going back down.  But then we looked back and saw how far we'd come and decided to just go another 10 yards.  And when we did that, we realized we could go another 10 yards.  And then, before we knew it, we were at the keyhole and on what felt like the top of world, looking out over the most gorgeous landscape that has been right in our own backyard our entire lives!  We were giddy.  We laughed and jumped up and and down (as much as two exhausted fat chicks can) and hugged.  We climbed through the keyhole and sat on the side of the backbone on a crop of shaded boulders and rested.  And we talked more. 

We talked about how the hike wasn't nearly as hard as we thought it would be.  And how we surprised ourselves with how well we did.  We talked about the realization that NOT doing these kinds of things was just an excuse to stay unhealthy.  And that if we waited until we "lost the weight" to do things, we'd never get there!  And one point Liz even turned her cellphone camera on me and recorded me saying what I'm sure were very profound things (lol).  I realized that for literally the first time in 29 years, I am taking control of my physical health and well-being.  I am an active participant in my own life.  And I am the only one that can determine whether I will succeed of whether I will fail.  If I can hike Devil's Backbone for the first time at 271 lbs. I can sure as hell do anything else I put my mind to!