((altogether now... "Hi Jenny..."))
In true Fat Chick fashion, I've been pushing my band's limits these last few days. I've lost almost all of my restriction (going in on 7/22 for my first fill) and because I'm still so new at this lap-band thing, I'm falling back into old habits.
I've been eating at night again. That's probably my Numero Uno bad habit besides portion control. The kids go to bed at 9pm, DH is at work, and I eat. Its something that I have avoided these past few weeks, but have started to fall back into again. It must stop.
I haven't been eating my protein. I know I'm going to regret this in a LOT of ways. And I know not getting enough protein is going to keep me hungrier. I need to get back on the protein wagon.
I haven't been listening to my band when it tells me "enough is enough". Yesterday I broke down and had a bagel with peanut butter on it. I know bagels, for the bandster, are the devil's work. But I wanted to see if I could do it. And damnit, I REALLY wanted some peanut butter! So I toasted my bagel, topped it with delicious PB and ate it. And no, I didn't not eat it slowly. And I did not take small bites. And when I started to get "that feeling" I just waited a minute or two for it to pass and kept right on going. Even when I knew I was too full.
*hanging head in shame* I'm such a cliche. Could I BE more of a fat chick?
Anywhoozles... today is a new day. And I have two more weeks until my first fill and I REFUSE to un-do all the work I've done so far. I cannot rely on the band alone to lose the weight for me. I will NOT be one of those bandsters.
So, gimme some encouragement ladies! Gimme a verbal ass-kicking! Because this fat chick needs all the help she can get!
I will tell you that falling into old habits has been the hardest part of my journey. Ironically I lost really really well my first 4 months before I had restriction. Then I continued to lose okay as I got to my sweet spot. I was only at my sweet spot for about a month and then had to have a complete unfil because I was having pain. Now I am working my way back up to my sweet spot and struggling every day... some days are bad and some are good, but the point is.. I keep trying. You just need to keep trying. And once you are at that sweet spot it will become SO much easier. You can do this!
ReplyDeleteJenny-I'm with you sister--I almost could write your same story. We will both be strong together--Starting TODAY!!!!!
ReplyDeleteDon't beat yourself up over this. Once you get restriction, everything will be much easier. Hang in there!!!
ReplyDeleteNo verbal ass-kicking needed. As Darlin said, just be strong starting today! We all have these kind of moments :)
ReplyDeleteToday is a new day as you said. Just get back on the wagon and start anew. You can do it. Plus if I fall off, I know I will need you to get me up again.
ReplyDeleteSorry, I can't give you an ass kicking either, at least not for the food choices. I will remind you that your band is not yet working the way it was designed to work so all the progress you've made thus far has been pretty much all you. If we were good dieters, we wouldn't have needed the lap-band to begin with. When you have good restriction, it isn't so hard. And I don't see ANYTHING wrong with a bagel and peanut butter. If you can tolerate them, go for it! It is yummy and has lots of protein. As for snacking in the evenings, I'd suggest having some things on hand that you can have. Popcicles are a good choice or popcorn or nuts. Just remember to eat foods in moderation and for crying out loud - let yourself enjoy them!
ReplyDeleteDon't beat yourself up. You are still new and it's going to take time and restriction to get in the right frame of mind.
ReplyDeleteYep, no verbal ass-kicking permitted. It happens. To all of us. I do really well for a couple of weeks and then have a few days of bad behavior. The restriction helps keep that bad behavior from getting ridiculous but it doesn't keep away all the food demons. And Amanda is right. If we were good dieters, we wouldn't have needed bands to begin with.
ReplyDeleteThere are nights I have actual conversations out loud with myself (thank God my husband works nights) about whether or not I am really hungry or if I am just wanting to snack because I want to be snacking. I lose the battle every once in awhile and that's okay.
I just had my first fill today (easy-peasy)! I'm hoping that keeps the hunger at baby a bit. Once you get your fill, I bet that will help. For night time snacks I have been having a sugarfree pudding with lite cool whip. Not good for protein, but it feels and tastes like a treat! Ah, chocolate!
ReplyDeleteI agree with everyone above, don't beat yourself up just move on. Honestly I did eat some bread when I was first banded because I still could and it was OK. You'll get there- the mental part is the hardest.
ReplyDeleteI won't give you an ass kicking, but I will tell you enjoy those little eating flings while they last, when you get to true restriciton you won't be able to touch that stuff without PB'ing.. and that is not a fun experience.
ReplyDeleteBest to use this time to train your self on what to do when you want to eat an elephant.. Start to plan food choices for snacks (red pepper slices, popsicles (fudge sugar free are great) or make yourself a nice protein shake.. Like Linda said the mental part is the hardest.. gotta train your brain.
You know very well that a band is merely a tool, not the cure. You chowed on the bagel and peanut butter because of things swirling through your brain, not your stomach.
ReplyDeleteBut you already know that, too. :)
Don't beat yourself up. Don't call yourself names. Please don't feel ashamed of yourself or bad. And for heaven's sake, don't punish yourself. We should never punish ourselves for eating. If we do eat unadvisedly, we just need to shake it off, move on and do better, the next meal, the next day.
*hug*
You have room on that bandwagon for me, too? I'll join you! Don't beat yourself up. At least you recognize your issues and you are bound and determined to do something about it. That in and of itself is an accomplishment, rather than continuing to hide your behavior. Tomorrow is another day and you and I will push that bandwagon if we need to to get it started back up. :)
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