Wednesday, July 21, 2010

My personal trainer is a dirty, dirty whore.

Let me preface all this by saying that "she" is not a real person.  She is my fitness trainer on EA Active.  I have named her Mona and, like I said, she's a dirty whore. 

I dislike this chick so much that half-way through my workout today, I changed my trainer from Mona the Trick-Ho over to the handsome male trainer who I have adoringly named "Andrew".  Andrew is cute.  Andrew is motivating and encouraging. 

Mona, on the other hand, infuriated me with her condescending attitude and fake-y compliments.  She would infuriate me to the point that I would end up hollering at her during my side-lunges-with-toe-touches to.  And when she made me re-do a rep because I didn't do it right, I literally wanted to jump through the tv screen and throttle her.

But Andrew, my sweet Andrew, makes me feel no such thing.  I don't feel unbridled rage when he tells me its time for running kick-backs (which SUCK, btw).  And when Andrew tells me I "really took charge of that last set" of shoulder presses, I smile and say, 'Why, thank you Andrew'. 

I think Andrew and I are going to be great friends.  *nodding*


  1. I am laughing hysterically right now! I went through this exact same range of emotions! Particularly when they tell you you didn't do the move right. "You're *not* quite following through with your reps..." ARRRRRGH!!! YES I AM YOU VILE WOMAN!

    I then switched to the male too and while he's infinitely easier on the eyes, you might learn to despise him soon enough...

  2. You had me at "Dirty Whore"!!!

  3. i friggin love you. mona on the other hand is getting her crotch kicked...effective immediately.