Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Spoke too soon

You remember when I mentioned yesterday that, while I have gotten stuck a few times, I have never PB'd?

Um... yah.  Notsomuch anymore.

OMG girls, I thought I was going to DIE last night!  After the gym, I came home and ate a really yummy broiled tilapia fillet w/ dill.  It filled me up and I was good to go.  But about 15 minutes after I finished my tilapia, I remembered that there were left-over sugar cookies in the pantry from a BBQ on Sunday. 

Cue Fat Jenny, stage left. 

Fat Jenny doesn't make too many appearances any more, but she did last night standing in front of the pantry looking at those cookies.  And I know it was Fat Jenny because I don't even LIKE sugar cookies!  They are not something I would ever choose to eat if presented with other options.  But Fat Jenny stuck her fat ass into the pantry and grabbed two small cookies.  Just as I was about to pop the last bite into my mouth, I felt it.  That pressure in the middle of my chest telling me that I had gone just a *little* too far.  So I argued with Fat Jenny for a split second before Formerly Fat Jenny won and I threw the last bite into the trash.

But the damage had already been done.  Anytime I've been stuck before, its been for a maximum of 10 minutes.  This time I was stuck for TWO FREAKING HOURS!

Yes, you read it right.  Two hours.  It was terrible.  I've never slimed more in my life.  I had to stand at the sink, spitting every few seconds.  The pain and pressure was excruciating.  Worse that any other time I've been stuck.  After about 45 minutes, I knew it was going to come back up.  And honestly?  At this point I was just hoping for some relief.  So, up it came.  Pretty much just as it had gone down.  I instantly felt better and thought the worst was over.

I was wrong.

I spent the next hour and fifteen minutes over the sink praying for death.  I PB'd two more times.  I was exhausted.  My stomach was so sore.  And I never.wanted.to.see.a.sugar.cookie.again.

Ever.  ((I threw the whole package away about an hour into my ordeal))

After I was done PB'ing and sliming and wishing I was dead, I fell into bed and just layed there, totally and completely exhausted.  I had no idea PBing was such a traumatic experience!

Its something I never want to do again.  Even if it means staying far, FAR away from sugar cookies.  For the rest of my life.


  1. That really sucks, but I bet you never eat a sugar cookie again.

  2. Dang!! That just scares the crap out of me. I so don't want to ever get stuck.

  3. Ouch! I think that would make me "scared straight" too! Feel better...

  4. Horrible! So sorry you had such a bad experience. Remember small bites, chew thouroughly, eat slowly. And of course never, ever post on your blog that you've never XYZ because that just temps fate, apparently!

    I have found that if I drink something when I am stuck it will cause me to vomit which usually makes the process resolve faster.

  5. Awwww...my "moments of panic" (as I like to call them) have always been relatively quick and painless. When I get that nasty stuck feeling I just lean over the toilet, sink, paper bag, whatever is near by and wish it out. I don't think I'd like actually being stuck for any length of time because for me, it feels like I can't breathe...

    Sugar cookies aren't that good anyway ;)

  6. Oh no! I have actually never had a PB'd, but at like 15 months out I think I'm OK. Sorry you had to go through that, but having crappy stuck episodes and PB's help us learn. Like you'll never binge on a sugar cookie again.

  7. Oh dear, I am so sorry. This sounds awful.

  8. Eep! That sounds even worse than what I just posted. I haven't PBd, but I'm sure it's to come. TWO HOURS is insane, all over cookies. I would totally have tossed 'em out too. Heck, I'd probably have stomped all over them in the street first. LOL

  9. Oh god, I'm so sorry. But you have paid it forward. I will remember.